Raise your hand if you’ve complained to a friend the night before an interview, “I can’t stand talking about myself!”
Or felt your face turn Elmo-red when your boss singled out your contributions to the last product launch in front of everyone.
Or hastily said, “Everyone had their part,” when your manager remarked on the calm and decisiveness with which you led your team to meet the last deadline.
You believe it’s important not to be full of yourself. I get it. As a kid you were told not to toot your own horn. Perhaps you were even told that being proud of yourself was a sin.
So you deflect praise instinctively. You brush it off, saying “It’s nothing” or “It’s wasn’t a big deal” even when you applied yourself, put in several hours of overtime and worked your butt off.
But here’s the thing: downplaying your achievements hinders not just your career health, but your mental health.
Humility Is Not What You Think It Is
Contrary to what many of us believe, humility is not having a low view of yourself. Humility is having an accurate view of yourself.
Terry Real (2018) defines a healthy self-esteem as being able to hold yourself in warm regard while acknowledging your flaws.
A misconception about mental health is it’s your ability how to cope with uncomfortable feelings, like those that come with anxiety or depression. But an essential component of your mental health is your ability to take in what is good and going well, known as your receptive affective capacity (Fosha, 2000).
If you can’t trust any of the good that comes your way, that gives the negative more holding power.
What happens when you can’t take in your achievements? You zero in on your mistakes, criticism is more